Kandlesticks
by CakeLookinAnimal
Summary: Rakan is just a lonely, single bird-boy since his waifu is perma-banned. He takes a solemn stroll through Summoners Rift which ends up taking him on the journey of a lifetime.


Rakan was strolling around Summoners Rift one day feeling particularly sad. He'd been spending most of his time alone recently since his girlfriend was always either banned or focused so hard she became a pile of bird-sludge, and it's really difficult to perform cunnilingus on a puddle of goop. As he swaggered past the many bushes of the Rift he would slide gracefully into them and breakdance elaborately while nobody watched him because he was alone and white so he couldn't really breakdance. But little did Rakan know that his entire world was about to change.

*That bush looks particularly swagless* Rakan thought *I think I might jazz it up a bit*  
He took a step back in preparation for one of his more confusing manoeuvres when all of a sudden he heard a very strange popping sound and there were thousands of tiny crows flying in circles around him, yelling things in bird-speak that sounded particularly scathing and Rakan was sure he saw a lone Parrot in their midst calling him a 'filthy hetero'.  
At the same time, a tall scarecrow appeared in front of him with a grin on his face. His greedy eyes glaring into Rakans needy soul.  
'What's up, buddy?' The scarecrow asked. His voice sounded like a bunch of cheese graters having an orgy while falling down an endless staircase and there's some bloke with a cheeky moustache laughing evilly and sliding down the stair rail.  
'Oh nothing much' replied the birdy boy 'just sorta wandering along on my own. Who are you?'  
'My name is Fiddlesticks. I sensed your deep sorrow and utterly lonely existence; thought I might pop over and see if I can help.' Fiddlesticks somehow winked, despite the fact that he was made of sticks and therefore couldn't wink but then most sticks don't have eyes so it's a bit of a grey area.  
'But how could you help me?' Rakan asked with a confused look.  
Fiddlesticks seemed to grin even wider with his stick mouth.  
'I suck a good dick.' He said.  
Rakan was instantly both shocked and aroused, he couldn't believe how forward this scarecrow was being. He thought a moment that he should refuse but then he noticed his suddenly throbbing dick desperately nudging at his underwear.  
'Aight then, show me what you can do'  
As soon as Rakan finished saying this, he immediately dropped into some of his sickest moves. Flipping and spinning every which way while simultaneously removing all of his clothes, playfully throwing them at the grinning scarecrow. Once he was naked he sprang back up, landing on his feet while his rigid *prostate puncher* wobbled about from the momentum.  
Fiddlesticks gazed longingly at Rakans meaty *protein dispenser*.  
'Shall we skip the foreplay?' Asked Rakan, his mushroom tip practically begging to be engulfed in something.  
'Foreplay? No.' Responded the randy scarecrow 'With me you get CAW-play!'  
Upon saying this, the scarecrow produced a magical purple crow as if from nowhere and hurled it towards Rakan. The magical beastie made a bee-line for Rakans exposed nips, bouncing between them and tickling them with it's feathers each time it bounced. Rakan cried out as his *manly chest raisins* were deliciously assaulted by the bouncing bird. His *mayonnaise catapult* jiggled as he convulsed in pleasure before being engulfed in a strange greenish beam of light. Before Rakan could even begin to register this, he felt the most incredible sucking sensation. It felt like his *snootch stuffer* was being engulfed in slimy walls while being sucked by a thousand vacuums.  
'Oh god Fiddle! I'm gonna cum!' He cried as his *pleasure probe* erupted.  
The thick fountains of bird spaff shot through the beam of light directly into the waiting mouth of the suckling scarecrow, who shivered as he swallowed mouthful after mouthful. Just when Rakan thought he could cum no more, his *mound pounder* was released from the sucky beam and he collapsed to the ground and passed out from the sheer intensity of his recent cummies.  
Tbc (thick beef crumpets)


End file.
